"Hipster Racism": An Easy Way Out

Dear World:

It's been a little while, I know.  I know that you all depend on my slightly vindictive point of view, but things had just been so crazy.  My body is growing faster than my teeth, for example.  My parents say that I look a little bit like a rat, or a rabbit, or something like that.  

My teeth may or may not look something like this.

Also, these enormous paws of mine make it difficult for me to type, but I have a secret remedy for that.  I control Yejin's mind for moments at a time and she types for me.  

This is what blogging was like for me when I first started, FYI.

This is what I looked like before my paws became enormous.

And these are, like, literally the size of my paws now.  How the hell is a pup supposed to type on those teenytiny mac keyboards with dumbass hands like this?!

In any event...let's move on.

Two words: Hipster racism.  I think there’s something mildly useful about this phrase that has been thrown around a lot in the past couple of months – it allows people to name the racist (read: extremely annoying) behaviors performed by hipsters.  However, to my beautiful puppy eyes, I think that this term leans towards a dangerous exceptionalism, an idea that somehow “hipster racism” is benign and harmless compared to more “obvious” and "physical" and "systemic" bouts of racism.  Of course, using racial epithets “ironically” is most certainly not the same as lynching.  But the phrase “hipster racism” somehow implies that these instances of oppression are  unrelated to the underlying exertion of power and privilege that moves violent interpersonal and systemic racism.  So, in light of my opinion, I’d rather say something like “Racism exerted by hipsters,” or “Racism, as performed by hipsters.”  It puts the emphasis on the act, and illuminates that racism is racism.

To demonstrate that the impact of racism performed by hipsters is detrimental, regardless of how “down” and “educated” and “progressive” the hipster is, I’m comparing parallel behaviors between hipsters and (mild-to-severe) white supremacists.  This little entry will show us how your level of downness and your (self-serving) good intentions doesn’t make a difference on the impact of racism. 

It may be helpful to define some terms, here.  People cringe at both “hipster” and “white supremacist.” 

Hipster (definition taken from Urbandictionary.com): Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.

Here are a couple of pictures/diagrams to help you understand the concept:

Taken from cracked.com

Both pictures taken from astronasty blog

White Supremacist: the belief and promotion of the belief that white people are superior to people of other racial backgrounds.

(note: I am not inserting images...google images for "white supremacist diagram" or "white supremacist cartoon" were a little too intense for my taste.)

Remember, you don’t have to be a skinhead or a neo-nazi or a member of the KKK to be a white supremacist!

1)  Racial/Racist Appropriation

As performed by hipsters:  Wear things that you bought abroad from poor but aggressive black/brown/yellow people and talk about how much culture and happiness these black/brown/yellow people have.   If you live in a neighborhood with [insert community here], make sure they know how much you know and how much you critically adore the culture.  Sit by a black/brown/yellow person on the subway and tell them how much you respect them.  Obviously you do, cuz you’re wearing a tribal-patterned pant/sari/kimono-like dress.

Screenshot from the indie film "Rachel Getting Married"

As performed by (mild-to-severe) white supremacists:  Insist that rock, country and pop were created by white people, and that work songs/spirituals/blues/jazz had absolutely no impact on today’s “white” music. 

Impact of both: The cultures of people of color are appropriated and reduced to the benefit of both hipsters and white supremacists.

2)   Conflating Class and Race

As performed by hipsters:  Pretend that you don’t have any money (well, you don’t have access to your trust fund, YET) and speak endlessly about how you had to eat ramen all week. 

Admit it...you eat cup o noodles because they're delicious, not because you're poor!

 God, living paycheck to paycheck is hard.  And pretend that your experience helps you to understand the plight of people of color.  Ignore the fact that there are poor white people, too, even though you claim to be one.

As performed by (mild-to-severe) white supremacists: Talk about highly-racialized “welfare queens” as though all women of color on welfare are lazy, manipulative and undeserving.  Under your breath, mention how forced sterilization of women of color would help them to lift themselves up by their bootstraps.

 Impact of both: Class and race are uncritically conflated, forcing an unforgiving, inaccurate, and racist essentialized image of POC.  These statements/sentiments benefit the racist person.

3) Mimesis

As performed by hipsters: Change the tonality/timbre of your voice when you’re around people of color.  You’ve lived in Bedstuy for two years – that definitely makes you authentic.  

Wsup, Kreayshawn?

As performed by (mild-to-severe) white supremacists: Change the tonality/timbre of your voice when you’re around people of color.  You know how to talk the unintelligible “ebonics” that you learned on TV.  As you’re mocking people of color to their faces with your essentialized understanding of their culture, imply that they are stupid, uneducated and dirty.  If you’re around an East Asian person, insist that “ching chong ching” means “me love you long time” in the language of Asian.  

Impact of both:  Behavior is mocked/mimicked in insulting, reductive and harmful ways.  Whether your intention is to be authentic and “down”, or to be a racist dickwad, all of this is racist.

4)  Political Correctness

As performed by hipsters: Talk about how being politically correct is so fucked up.  It’s not about political correctness – it’s not about being anti-racist – it’s about being able to make “radical” and “colorblind” connections between people.  So to demonstrate how much you object to the limiting politics of PCness, do something racist and pretend it’s ironic and smart.

I sure as hell can't see the squiggles.

  
As performed by (mild-to-severe) white supremacists:  Talk about how being politically correct is so fucked up.  This is America, after all, and censoring your freedom of speech is not permitted.  So to demonstrate how much you object to the limiting politics of PCness, do something racist, and pretend that you’re just being a smart American.

This is the smartest "map" I've ever seen.

Impact of both:  Using one’s hatred towards political correctness (whatever the reason may be) to justify your racism is absurd and racist.

5)  Counter-Cultural Capital

As performed by hipsters: Try to accumulate as much counter-cultural capital as you can. Make up stories about how you’ve been arrested countless times for being a rambunctious, socially conscious young person.  Make up stories about how you ended up on or under the poverty line (psst…make sure you leave out the fact that you have a trust fund…).  Do research on your ancestry and talk about how the Irish were the blacks of the first wave of immigration to the U.S.  When you accumulate enough, justify your racist comments with a defensive, “I KNOW WHAT OPPRESSION FEELS LIKE!”

As performed by (mild-to-severe) white supremacists:  Convince yourself that white people are the ones who have it hardest these days.  God, affirmative action is so unfair!  You perceive that employers/schools give preferential option to poor people of color when, in fact, YOU are the one who is being discriminated against, and YOU are the one who deserves to get rewarded.  Be sure to always tell someone that they’re being racist against you and all white people when someone mispronounces your boring name. "OOOOOH it's 'Bob' and not 'BOOB?'  My apologies."

Taken from "conservativecartoons.com"

Impact of both:  Who WANTS counter-cultural capital?  People with privilege, because somehow you interpret the existence of CCC with disdain if you cannot have it, as well.  Entitlement?  Yes.  Your privilege and entitlement leads you to pretend that you have it bad, therefore you get to say/do/act however you want, even if it’s racist.

Speaking of oppression...


It's really fucking hot.  I am wearing a double-coat of fur and I want to kill something.  But it's too hot to kill anything.  So I'm just going to lazily plot myself on the couch (which I now know I can dominate, even though my parents keep pushing me off and have been trying to train me to stay on the floor) and refuse to walk, pee or poop outside.  


Love,
Big Paws McGee