On Canines in the Media

Dear World:

As a proud member of the “domestic” dog species (a/k/a Canis lupus familiaris), I have a lot to say about the human race’s general assumptions about my “people.”  A lot of words are uncritically thrown around (and, by now, you all must know that I hate when people are uncritical!  Use your damn brain, please!) in association with dogs: loyal, needy, obsequious, brave, etc.  Sure, there are some dogs out there who meet any and/or all of these descriptions, but just like humans, each of us are different, unique and lovely.  Though we are, indeed, unique and lovely, sometimes I feel like the depiction of dogs in feature films really feeds into negative stereotypes.  However, there are also movies out featuring canine stars that really inspire me.  To help you all understand what I mean by all this, I will be reviewing the best and worst 2 movies starring canines.

I am a fierce advocate for going through and beyond the politics of representation in the media, but there is something really satisfying about crushing negative (and even positive) stereotypes of my species.  So here goes:

WORST TWO CANINE REPRESENTATION IN FEATURE FILMS

1)  AIRBUD: The Dog Is In The House (1997)

For those of you who haven’t seen this little “gem” of a movie, don’t.  So basically, this boy named Josh Framm has to move in with his family in Washington State because his father passes away.  Josh is a pretty shy dude and has a hard time making friends.  He meets a Golden Retriever named Buddy who had just escaped from an alcoholic and abusive owner named Norman Snively (I actually like his name, btw).  Blahblahblah, against all odds, we learn that Buddy can…DUN DUN DUN…play basketball.  Blahblah, Josh joins the team…blahblah…abusive bball coach is replaced by former NY Knicks player…custody battle over Buddy…happy ending.

Okay, so I’m not heartless.  I can certainly appreciate the gravity of such a somber situation for little Josh.  Yea, and Buddy had a hard life, too.  But the movie is just too formulaic, and as an abused dog, I think Buddy probably has more depth.  But no, HOLLYWOOD says that abused characters who end up playing basketball should not be deep, they should merely play a cheap, sentimentalist role.  Hmmm…is this a familiar narrative trajectory? 

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 paws

2) BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (2008)

Um…I don’t even know where to begin with this one.  I don’t know if the depiction of the dog characters is worse or better than the depiction of Mexico.  But let’s just dive right in, shall we?

A lady leaves her pet Chihuahua (Chloe) with her irresponsible niece who takes the dog to Mexico.  Of course, in Mexico, since it’s a scary, awful, crime-ridden place, Chloe gets dognapped and sent to the dogfights.  Did you read that correctly?  Yes, you did.  Yea.  Chloe meets a nice German Shepherd to helps her, but they barely escape the menacing Doberman Pinscher named “El Diablo” who is sent to capture her.  Then, of course, Chloe makes it back to her sweet home in Beverly Hills.

What. The. Fuck. Right?  Okayokay…let’s start with the dogs.  There are definitely dogs out there who have a bad rep.  The list looks like this: Pitbulls, Rottweilers,  Dobermin Pinschers, Akitas, Bullmastifs.  I even found this website that says that these dogs are “inherently violent.”  Dog-ist, much?  Geez…for ALL these breeds, if the dog is even mildly trained, which they usually are, they are the best dogs ever.  I’m going off track here, but I just want to go on the record and say that my absolute favorite dogs to play with here in Brooklyn are pittbulls and rottweilers.  They’re the nicest, most tolerant dogs, and are WAY less violent than those yappy little yorkies and pekanese dogs.  This isn’t the place to get into this…but there is also a racialized and classist component to people’s fear of these dogs.  But seriously…a “violent” pinscher named “El Diablo?”  Get the fuck out of my house, Disney.  I will whack your face with my bushy-ass tail for this.  What happens when certain breeds are portrayed as inherently violent?  What happens when certain people are depicted as inherently violent?  Awful assumptions.  That’s what.  Assumptions that often lead to unfair and unnecessary fear, and unfair and unnecessary consequences. 

Okay, let’s move onto the whole poop-colored picture this movie creates for Mexico, which, I assume, is meant to be the clever opposite of Beverly Hills. 

Hmm…I actually have nothing to say about it.  It’s dumb.

Rating: 0.5 out of 5 paws

BEST TWO CANINE REPRESENTATION IN FEATURE FILMS

BALTO (1995)

 Hell to the yes.  If you haven’t seen the movie, here’s a summary:  Balto, a wolf-dog hybrid, is shunned and rejected by humans and dogs in his town.  He only has “wild” friends.  One day, a dogsled race is happening.  One of the teams is led by Steele, a proud of fierce Siberian Husky.  Balto sees a girl named Rosy with her female husky at the event, and when Rosy’s hat blows away with the wind, Balto outruns the sled team and retrieves the hat to show off to the female husky.  Yabbadabba!  When Balto tries to get closer to Jenna, Rosy’s dad pulls Rosy away from him.  Balto is dejected and walks away as Steele and the other dogs bully him.  Night after the race, a bunch of children (including Rosy) fall ill and the local doc has run out of beds.  Balto tries to comfort the female husky, and somehow gets framed for a bad thing Steele does.  The town decides that a sled team will have to go get the medication for the children.  A race is held to see which dogs will go, and Balto enters.  He wins, of course.  He’s disqualified, though, because Steele hurts Balto which forces him to bear his teeth.  Sigh.  Can Balto win?!  Steele is in charge, but the dumbass gets them lost and disoriented.  Balto goes on a rescue mission, finds the dogs, but Steele has gone insane and is filled with such intense and maniacal hatred that he falls off a cliff.  Balto is chosen as the new leader, but Steele, who is unhurt, creates false trail markings to throw Balto off (what a dick, right?!)  But ultimately Balto prevails, not in spite of his difference (his half-wolfedness), but because of it. 

Do you have chills?  I do.  I’m crying, a bit.

Of course, this movie also utilizes sentimentalism, but there is actually a point to this.  This is the all-too-common story of the Other who is shunned, bullied, and feared.  But this town was forced to slowly realize that their fear of his difference almost resulted in the lives of the sick children.   And of course, watching Balto try to awkwardly flirt with a husky was insanely adorable. 

Last win: Balto is best friends with not only one, but two polar bears. 

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 paws

HACHI: A DOG’S TALE (2009)

Grab your hanky and be prepared for the biggest emotional rollercoaster of your life.  Perhaps I’m a bit biased and I love this movie because it revolves around an Akita, which is kind of a cousin to the Shiba.  Or perhaps this is just the best movie of all time.  World, you should judge for yourselves.

In this beautiful story, a music professor (played by Richard Gere) finds an Akita puppy at the train station, from which he commutes to work every day.  He scoops up the fluffball into his arms and looks for an owner, but one cannot be found, so he brings the pup home.  Note: home is a bit of a trek from the train station.  Drama ensues about whether he is allowed to keep the dog (whose name is Hachi) if an owner cannot be found because his wife does not initially want it. They grow up together, and the Akita is just LOVELY!  Everyday when Richard Gere goes to the train station, Hachi escapes from his home to walk behind him to send him off.  Everyday, right before Richard Gere returns home at five, Hachi escapes from his home and greet Richard Gere.  Adorable, right?  Well, here’s the kicker.  Richard Gere dies, but Hachi goes to the station everyday, waiting for him.  Everyday for nine years.  Until his last, dying breath.  This. Is. Based. On. A. True. Story. 

Are you bawling?!  Well, of course not.  My summary does not do this movie justice.  I wish I had a clip of my mom’s face during the last 20 minutes of this movie – it’s like her eyes and nose were faucets.  Nasty, but illustrative of the power of this movie.

You know, I’m not a sucker for sentimentalism, especially when I can very easily see the telos, the purpose, and the strategy behind the sentimentality (e.g.  ASPCA commercials asking for donations).  And though this movie is filled with sentiment, there’s no strategy, no desired end…just a feeling of sadness and joy about the potentials of loyalty and love in the world.  And this movie doesn’t demonstrate the dumb kind of loyalty that most movies portray in dogs…you know, the drooling I-LOVE-MASTER-MASTER-LOVE-ME type of loyalty.  It’s much deeper.

Rating: 10,000,000 out of 5 paws