Gosh, I've only been in Brooklyn for a couple of weeks and I'm already the most popular stud on the block. I mean, attention is great and all, but the type of attention I have been receiving gives me pause(paws).
I grew up around my kind (all my brothers, sisters and parents are Shibas), so I'm not used to people making a big fuss about my features. Sure, people fawned over my beautiful coat, my curly tail and my general shape, but the comments I've been getting have been absurd. Here are some of my favorite (read: upchuck-worthy) remarks so far:
(1) Your eyes are so chinky!
(2) Look at the color of your fur! I wish MY dog was that color! You look so wild, like a fox, or a bear.
(3) Where are you from? No, where are you REALLY from? I'm guessing you're from CHINA.
(4) Look at how exotic you are! I'll bet a you were EXPENSIVE, but I want you anyway!
(5) Oh, your breed is from JAPAN! I LOVE Japanese culture!
Sure, people are doing their best to give me compliments. I'm sure the intention is to inflate my already expansive ego, and sure, it's working. But come ON, people...I am a WHOLE puppy, not just a sum of my beautiful parts. Maybe it's because I just woke up from my fourteenth nap today, but I'm grumpy, and I'm going to talk about why each of these comments bothers me.
(1) Your eyes are so chinky!
Um, I'm pretty sure when people say "chink", they're not even aware that the definition of the proper word is "a narrow opening, such as a crack or a fissure" (thank you dictionary.com!). I'm pretty sure they just mean that my eyes are slanty, like my mom's. But, really? Are my eyes a narrow opening, like a crack or a fissure? What the fuck is a fissure, anyway? My eyes are luminous, alert and gorgeous. People should say, "your eyes are so alert-y!" Why do people think this is a compliment? I'm not saying that the eyes that are called "chinky" aren't beautiful - what I'm barking at is the fact that this term is even used!
Plus, my mom who is Korean-American gets a little constipated when people say this to me, because they also say it to her. She mumbles the words "East Asians," "racialized," "reductionist" and "made your whole railroad system and wasn't even in the famed, historic railroad picture" whenever someone says this to either of us. I don't know what any of that means, but she sounds angry about it. And then people get confused about why she's angry. Maybe they don't expect a small Korean woman to be vocal. You know, since they're supposed to be submissive, have tiny vags and walk on people's backs when commanded.
People of Brooklyn: please stop making my mom constipated.
Pictures of famous people with said "chinky" eyes:
Tyson Beckford
Zhang Ziyi
Me
 |
| Please note that my eyes are "narrow openings" because I'm doing something called SLEEPING. Gosh. |
(2) Look at the color of your fur! I wish MY dog was that color! You look so wild, like a fox, or a bear.
Listen, buddy...yes, I look like a fox. Yes, when I'm not wearing my collar I look more like a bear. However, do not assume that I am wild because of the color of my fur! I don't assume that you're a complete drone because you are pale and pink and have hair in weird places. Well, maybe I do, but SHOULD I?! You can envy the fur, but don't go making assumptions about who I am, what I am capable of, and what my culture or behavior is, alright?
Pictures of my beautiful fur coat:
(3) Where are you from? No, where are you REALLY from? I'm guessing you're from CHINA.
Um, I'm from Ohio. No, I'm really from Ohio. Oh, where am I FROM, FROM? My mother's uterus. Oh, you made a guess because I wasn't telling you? China? China, you say? Is it because of my "chinky" eyes? If you MUST know, though it's really none of your business, my ancestors are from Japan. Why do you have to know where I'm from, dude?
(4) Look at how exotic you are! I'll bet you were EXPENSIVE, but I want you anyway!
Ok, let's get some help from Dictionary.com, again.
Exotic:
(a) of foreign origin or character; not native; introduced from abroad, but not fully naturalized or acclimatized
(b) strikingly unusual or strange in effect or appearance
(c) of a uniquely new or experimental nature
(d) of, pertaining to, or involving stripteasing
Hm.
Okay, so (a) is a no go, cuz I was born in Ohio. I mean, are we talking about nation-states, here? Is Ohio considered foreign in Brooklyn?
Let's see...(b), there is nothing unusual or strange about me, goddamit. I mean, yes, I'm strikingly BEAUTIFUL. How DARE people refer to me as unusual or strange! Just look at me! (see picture of beautiful me below)
So (c) says that I must be experimental. Um, I'm pretty sure Shibas are one of the oldest breeds of dog, so I'm not sure that applies. Goodness, they make it sound like I was born in a testtube, or that I was part of the Matrix. Yes, The Matrix is before my time, but who doesn't understand those references? Come on.
And, finally, (d)...I'm not sure that I'm an "exotic" dancer. I shed a shit ton since I have a (beautiful) double coat, but I think that is pretty different from doing a striptease.
Summary: I am not exotic, so stop calling me that. You use it as a compliment, but all it does is make me feel reduced, estranged, and angry that you are not being specific enough in your compliment.
The second part of this..."I'll bet you were expensive, but I want you anyway." Gosh, story of the lives of people/dogs who are fetishized, am I right, or am I correct?? I don't want you to go through your "exotic" phase, get one of my brothers or sisters as a pet and then realize that you want a dog that better suits your needs, that will get along better with your family. I'm not "too different" for you...you're not awesome enough for me. Got it? I don't want your fetishized interest.
Same goes for my mom.
Again, I'm from OHIO. Yea, and do not assume that you know what Japanese culture is just because you watch some of the raunchier anime series, you like Murakami and/or Kurosawa, and because you just LOVE sushi. Lastly, why are you talking about Japanese culture to a dog? Hmmm?
Bottom line: Admire me because I'm smart, beautiful and tough, not because you have some weird assumptions about what I must be like because of my looks.
Okay, now it's time for my fifteenth nap of the day...
P.S. Mommy and daddy are super proud of me - I have not pooped ONCE in the apartment! Not yet...
Keep on fighting!
Sincerely Yours,
Mandu, the insanely insightful canine
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